Friday, March 27, 2009

Almost missed.

I opened and closed the front door behind me. It made a swiftly noise and ended with a dull thud. The kind of noise you lose yourself into when you're lonely... I opened the next one, looked down and took my shoes off. Another exhausting day at school precisely done at 5PM. Walked in and saw my sister watching daily news on TV sitting on the sofa. She looked at me and said it was gone to be sold. I couldn't believe it but she sounded pretty firm in her statement. I laughed, took my jacket off, hung it, and entered my bedroom. I put my Pj on and came out. Headed to the basement. It wasn't there. "Alright" I said to myself. Took a snack and I was ready to tackle my biology assignments.

"ADH and Aldosterone are secreted which increase H20 and Na+ absorption. This secretion will then increase blood volume, increase presystolic volume, cardiac frequency and the volume of blood ejected. The cardiac output will be raised. Therefore, blood pressure will be raised as well ... Since BP = CO x CF. " (...)

- Snack

- "In a hospital, a person's put to bed for several days. She feels dizzy and might fall. That's the reason why it is very important to slowly lift her , first make her sit and then let her get use to it for few minutes before standing her up... "

- Snack

- Snack

- TV

"When you are in a lateral position, your blood vessels and heart are on the same level, which make it easier for the blood to circulate, so less contriction of the vessels (dilated). When changing posture, your BP decreases and the blood falls to the bottom since the nervous system did not have to time to adapt to the situation, to make the vessels constrict. With that being said, blood goes down, nothing to feed dzee brain, equals dizziness. To retablish the BP, the NS will increase the heart contractility, raise CF and make vessels contrict. CO and Resistance will raise substancially..."

- Assignments

- Dinner

- TV

Still not there. I felt all weird inside. What if it wasn't a joke? What if it'll never come back again? I sat in front of the television, but my eyes were looking down. The same level it usually was. I felt sad. I felt guilty and wished I could see it one more time to say 'Bye'. (...) Useless piece of black and white stinky thing that can't even listen to me when I ask it to. Yeah, you. Fatty who keeps on destroying most of the things I once owned. Gniah. I don't care. And yet. Who'll jump all around and stand up to my knees everytime I come back from school? Who'll run like a mad boar when... (...) like a mad boar. It is the only one who possesses the two most weird reflecting mirrors ever. Fart, snore, sit, sleep, eat. Silly.

12:30AM and still not there. Finally decided to believe it. Went back to my room. Closed the door and again, that dull thud. Fucking annoying shit. Just leave me alone. (sigh) Slipped between the blankets and fell asleep.

6AM Classical music on the radio, my everyday alarm. Get's up. Fix my bed and go wash my face. Change clothes. Loses my Pj comfort for the less appeal I still own. Deep breath, stairs. Cage. It's there. Snoring. Farting like whatever. Stood on my knees. "GIMMIIE BIIG KIISS MII DOGGIE" Hugs. Breakfast. Promise I'll take it out later. And life goes on...

Maybe with a little bit more love I guess.

PS My brother took Azul (my dog) to the farm to see some friends and came back home at 2AM.

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